


Railings

by Jay_JellyBear



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 21:37:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17433959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay_JellyBear/pseuds/Jay_JellyBear
Summary: When everything gets too much, sometimes being alone is the best option for Patton.





	Railings

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday to my beautiful baby boy, Patton! What better way to celebrate than some good ol' angst! The ending seems a bit rushed for me, but I can't be bothered to change it. Anyways please enjoy!

Looking over the railing, Patton never realized how dark it really was. There wasn’t a bottom or at least one that he could see. The edge dropped off to a dark mist, so dark that if you looked close enough, you could see your reflection. The mist was a confusing, frightening, yet intriguing thing. It made you want to reach out your hand just to touch it, just to feel it. But just that hand was all it needed to pull you in. Just that curiosity was enough for the mist to pull you in.

Patton would be lying if he hadn’t gotten close to the mist. Every day the nagging feeling of curiosity got harder and harder to ignore. Especially on days when things weren’t peachy. On days when the others weren’t so nice. When he was left to himself when it seemed that nobody cared. Patton knew that it wasn’t true, it was very clear that the others did care. Heck, they even got him to open up some more! 

Patton couldn’t lie, though. He always has those thoughts that they didn’t care. Or that they didn’t care as much as they say they did. On days like those, the balcony with the black mist seemed more welcoming. Patton hated how it felt, how he wondered what would happen to him if he reached out if he jumped. He’d never tell the others and he knew that he’d never actually do it. So when days like these came, he’d always go to one of the other sides first. 

Virgil was usually the first person he’d go to. Virgil was usually able to reassure him and help him through the day. Sometimes they would just sit and cuddle on the common’s couch, watching some show or movie. Sometimes they’d sit in either’s room ranting out their problems. But sometimes, as helpful as Virgil was, Patton didn’t need that kind of comfort. Some days, all the emotions and everything Patton felt was too much. Those days, he’d go to Logan.

Logan’s comfort, while it could be awkward at times, was perfect when Patton was overwhelmed. Logan usually let Patton sit in his room, which let Patton get a small break from all his emotions. Logan usually was working on something, or sometimes he’d just ramble on about whatever was interesting to him that day. Those kinds of days let Patton just exist. It let him just be present with Logan without demanding too much of him. But sometimes even Logan’s room wasn’t enough to calm him down. He’d needed something more, and that was Roman. 

Roman always took Patton on adventures. He’d take Patton sailing, exploring, or even just walking around. That was perfect for when Patton just needed a distraction. Perfect for days when Patton’s emotions got the best of him and he needed to forget it for a while or just needing a different way to vent it all out. Roman seemed to know just what Patton wanted when he came to his door. Either between fighting enemies (which Patton was usually against, but it couldn’t be avoided sometimes) or just talking to strangers about their day. That didn’t always work or Patton. Sometimes he just needed to be alone.

That’s when he usually came up to the balcony. When he just needed to be alone, alone with his feelings and himself. Alone with the mist. On days like this, Patton felt like everything was falling apart. Mainly, himself. He felt like he was being torn in a million different directions and each way wasn’t good. Patton supposes that he could do it in his room, but sometimes his own room worked against him. Sometimes it felt like his room was suffocating him. There were too many memories, too many past feelings, too many things that reminded him of things he’d rather forget. 

So the balcony was the best choice for today. Today wasn’t what Patton would call a “good” day. At least for himself, that is. Apparently, a video was shot today, but Patton had no clue. Nobody had called him up, nobody came to get him or anything. It hurt. It hurt a lot. Whatever the problem was, they didn’t need Patton’s input. Thomas and the others were able to fix it on their own.

Patton knew it was dumb to think that he was useless. Thomas just wouldn’t be the same without him! Patton also knew that all problems aren’t in his specialty, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t help. As much as it made Patton angry, it made him just as sad. He shouldn’t be upset. There wasn’t any reason to be. 

Yet here he was, on the balcony by himself with the mist. Just himself and his rampant thoughts of loneliness, sadness, uselessness, and of anger.


End file.
